“Learn to say ‘no’
before the bubble solution that you throw up, drowns you in it.”,
I said to myself.
Over taxing is taking toll on me.
It had just been 3 hrs between the time I hit the bed and was out of it.
I woke up to the bangs of mom over the door and a big blow from my sis on my back.
I don’t remember when was the last time anybody woke me up with anything close to a big good morning smile. All they wake me up with, is a frown. Getting me out of bed is a theory of constraints in itself still! Com’on I at least deserve something closer to a humane wake up call. The way my mom or sis wakes her up is like BMC worker with the broom or the police waking the house-less species sleeping on pavements.
I have been throwing up some sort of bubbly solution every time I get out of the bed.
I feel so acidic; it has to be either coz of less sleeping hrs put into practice or oversleeping. Previously it was out of oversleeping; now it is coz of been deprived of Neendi (sleeping) hrs due to varied range of reasons put together.
A sick headache, feeling of cloud of cough down my throat, sometimes even breathlessness precedes the act of throwing up of the bubbly solution. This is one of the morning rituals I have been force to follow by my system from past few months. I end up shouting. “Maaaamaaa, Am I am feeling acidic, ma head is spinning” and mom will be like “Pori, time var zopayeche nahi then what on earth you expect to happen? Manasane kase timema var ….blah blah blah…did you drink water in the entire night? Abc abc abc.” All those words just fall on my eardrums like some random alphabets put together, I just want her to stop talking…either way when there is that violent headache + toxic feeling rising to my throat …… all things, species around me seems get merged into the background….it feels no relation or sense of belonging or being in that environment. I can feel each pipeline (read as vein and artery) talking to me…each persona I wanna not think about in my conscious self , flashes in dizzy eyes.
I get to the copper jug, place ma hand on it… disillusioned fuzzy, gulp like 5-6 glasses of water. Drink drink drink… till it feels like all the pipelines within me gonna give up and then drunkard pace towards bathroom… bend over and there it goes ,water with some sort of bubbles over it. If not so feeble I might bend over to get a inch from my nose closer look at it. Left on bathroom floor is some sort of bubbles… my eyes picture popping them pop…. pop ... I wish we could just pop the bubble of person we don’t wanna think about. Won’t it be easy moving on… forgetting promises, no yearning for the past, no dreamland no scotland, no ‘Yes’ . . . just let go . . . . . . .cut " e " out of emotion and set it in motion..isn't it an invitation to numbness . . .turning one's smile into a beautiful lie. . . ;)
Coming back to the bubbly solution on the bathroom floor , I ask myself…
Am I such an acidic being?
Am I so toxic that if gulped by any other specie, it would die outta acidity :O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Symptoms_of_acidosis.svg
